Reviews

And so here it is, at long last, my 1000th review and I don't seek any privileges or congratulatory responses as this only proves I spend too much of my time playing very old games (and some new ones along the way) than I probably should but hey 1000th review. It's taken a while, I started reviewing games on this site in 2013 about after a year I disappeared because of work, my hard drive crashed with meant I lost all my games and that was that. Then in late 2017 I came back after I broke my foot in a work accident and I decided to come back, and the ball has been rolling since, except I went away for a bit again recently but I'm back now, miss me? And when I came back Initially I felt I had to change things about, especially reading more detailed reviews from dm_boozefreak, Davey Davey and I'm sure there was a third but I can't remember, sorry! Because yes the majority of my reviews in the past were simple and basic and a half-ass effort, but I felt I had to up the ante, one line reviews weren't enough anymore.

So enough about me, onto my 1000th review and rather than be randomly selected a game by World of Spectrum or Spectrum Computing I decided to specially handpick my 1000th game. I don’t even know why this is getting a review but somebody has to at some point and it might as well be me and it might as well be for my 1000th review. For my 1000th review is of a game that isn’t a game.

Hareraiser: Prelude was one of two games in the Hareraiser series, the other being Finale. They are infamous for being ludicrously unplayable due to its lack of graphics, lack of gameplay, lack of instructions, lack of anything. Apparently there's a puzzle you have to solve but what and where that puzzle is is anyone's guess.

All you get in this game is some trees, a sun, clouds, grass, and a message reading something in the lines of “a prize fit for a queen” and “the grass is like a carpet”, and that is your game, endless wonder, endless pictures, endless confusion.

This game has no end, and it doesn’t have a start either, because it’s not a game. It’s a scam.

Basically, you paid almost £10 on a game you cannot win, ever. And to make matters worse they went for a double and released it a second time for exactly the same price and exactly the same code.

A lot of people proclaim this to be the worst game ever, but that isn’t true because, well it’s not a game.

Some of the previous 999 games I’ve looked at here have been appalling, but at least they are games. Even SQIJ is a game, sure you cannot control it without breaking into it but it’s at least a game, because this is no game in comparison.

It didn’t need a review, but then it didn’t need a release either. And at the end of the day someone had to take the mickey of this in this site it may as well be me.

Here's to the next 1000.